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Captain-Jack
Run along with Captain-Jack.

Age 96, Female

The Internet

Joined on 7/31/03

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THIS JUST IN PEACEKID IS THE GREATEST PERSON IN THE UNIVERSE RIGHT NOW AND FOREVER

TOM'S SEMEN AND CAPTAIN-JACK'S BREAST MILK PRICES REACH RECORD HIGH

A PLANE JUST CRASHED INTO THE NEWGROUNDS TWIN TOWERS

MOTHER'S MILK IS COLD TODAY

YOU SHOULD HIRE MORE NEWS ANCHORS

AND A WEATHERMAN

AND START UP A FAUX COMPANY

SO FAR I HAVE A JOURNALIST (MONOCROM) A CHIEF VIDEO EDITOR (FBIPOLUX) AND A POTENTIAL INTERVIEW SUBJECT (MCJESUS)

YOU CAN BE THE WEATHERMAN IF YOU WANT

I LIKE WHEN WE SPEAK IN CAPS IT IS FUN AND MAKES US LOOK COOL

Thank you for watching, Rucklo.

LOL

also, cocks.

Hmm don't use that olden style effect over the top, it doesn't suit well with news. Also center yourself to the camera :) (I'm just being picky)

also.......lol.

A lot of people agree with you. So consensus dictates that my next news session shall be done without the grainy special effect. Also, I centered the camera to the left because I thought I could put pictures in a box to the top right corner. Turns out, I'm too lame to know how to video-edit that. ;)

Can I fap to you?

Do you need permission?

Awesome. <3

Yay <3

I approve of this concept

I approve of Ninjas with afros who have a lot of work ahead of them. I miss talking to you! <3

That is the best video ever submitted to Newgrounds.

AND OMG I WAS MENTIONED IN IT! Bow you jealous scum.

Of COURSE you would be mentioned in it! You're my NG twin, I don't go anywhere without you!

I love your accent.

OZZZSTRALYA

I hear Enron is interested in purchasing Radiogrounds too. ;)
But let's not have another inside trading scandal.

Yes, it's not like we didn't know that Enron tends to make strange business decisions.

so, are we still friends?
(also, le hot on the capt. jack song because it was used in some jack harkness video, and jack harkness is like sex, but not in a gay way...)

goleftgorightgopickupyourstepgole ftgorightgoleft

I hope your next one has little pictures to accompany you to the side of your head, like on a real news report :) Who knows, maybe even some on-the-scene reporters? The possibilities are endless! Nice work ;D

I'm too much a lamer to know how to edit the video to do that. Saying that, I can at least insert pictures so I will do that next time. Thanks, dude!

Holy shit, you are real !

Anyway, great news report but I think that you should lose the "old video effect" and add a picture of what you are talking about in the top left corner (right corners are soooo overrated).

LaD, Freelance Journalist.

Got some leads that say that Ross did not leave because he got a job at Right Media, Right media actually threaten the staff with their supposed mob connections to let go Ross because they needed his coding skills badly, as to why they need his coding skills is still unknown, but I can just smell the scoop.

If you need any more information, I'm supposed to meet with this....Anonymous Throat at 11:00.

I can tell Anonymous Throat will indeed be a worthy news source.

Cool

Hot

do you love me?

I have no feelings towards you one way or the other.

I heard that.

All of that.

FIGMENTUM IS BALD

I DON'T WANT TO BE WEATHERMAN

IT INVOLVES WORK

ALSO SPEAKING IN CAPS ISN'T MAKING US COOL, ITS SUPPOSED TO PROVIDE THE SENSE THAT WE'RE SPEAKING IN RAPID GENERIC SUCCESSION SOMETIMES STEREOTYPED IN EDITORS AND PEOPLE IN THE MEDIA BUSINESS ESPECIALLY DURING THE 1900'S

LIKE THAT GUY FROM SPIDERMAN

OH I SEE

AND HERE I WAS DOING IT TO LOOK COOL

I FEEL SILLY

SILLY THIS AIN'T NO TIME TO BE SILLY THIS IS A BUSINESS HERE YOU GOTTA GET THE SCOOP BEFORE EVERYONE ELSE

ALSO FITTY FIVE COMMENTS IS A REAL LANDMARK

REPLYING TO THEM IS MORE OF A LANDMARK THAN THAT :)

Very good :D

Stay tuned for the next one!

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